It can be embarrassing to discuss this issue, but it’s a big problem and many women can attest to having a weak pelvic floor, especially after going through childbirth. This sexual health issue can lead to insecurity, emotional distress, a drastic reduction in confidence, and a lack of sex drive. And when it comes to pleasing your partner in the bedroom – while this stuff shouldn’t matter – the issue can make you feel like you’re not performing under the sheets.
Why Does a Vagina Become Loose?
Contradictory to popular belief, a loose vagina is not the result from having too much sex…and is also not linked to the size of your partner’s penis (even if he wants to believe he’s that big!). The most common reason is childbirth, but menopause and getting older are also factors. As with every other part of our body, the vagina has muscles that contract and relax. When we grow older, or the vagina goes through the trauma of childbirth, then the natural elasticity is reduced.
This process is completely natural, but there are ways to get back the tightness without having to through the rest of your life feeling loose.
What Can Be Done?
There are exercises that can be done to help tighten your vagina. These are known as kegel exercises and they are designed to help strengthen the pelvic floor muscles; the muscles that stretch during pregnancy and childbirth. These exercises are known to tone your core, recover health, strengthen the bladder and improve sexual pleasure by strengthening the muscles in the pelvic floor and making them more elastic.
Basic Kegel
Kegel exercises can be done discreetly at any time that works best for you. If you aim to do these as part of a daily routine, you will find it easier to ensure that you are fitting enough sets in. For maximum results; you should plan to do five to ten sets a day. Each set should contain ten Kegels.
The first step is to identify the right muscles. To do this, try stopping your urine flow midstream. This is quick and simple and if you succeed, you’ve got the right muscles. If you struggle; keep trying and focus on clenching the muscles around the vagina. If you are unsure or want to double-check; insert a finger or two into your vagina and tighten the muscles. If you can feel your fingers being clenched (even just a little), then you’ve located your pelvic floor muscles. Once you’ve identified the correct muscles, empty your bladder and lie on your back.
Take a deep breath and tighten your pelvic floor muscles. Hold the contraction for as long as you can or up to five seconds, and then relax for five seconds. To begin with, do this five times in a row. As your muscles begin to strengthen, aim to keep them contracted for longer until you reach ten seconds. Make sure that you relax for the same amount of time as your contractions. Focusing on your breathing can help – although you should avoid holding your breath during these exercises.
Using Kegel Balls
Kegel balls are designed to stimulate the vagina causing the surrounding muscles to contract. The muscles also tighten to keep the balls in place.
Kegel balls are easy to use and very discreet. They come in a variety of materials from metal to rubber to plastic. For beginner’s we recommend the Orgasmus Love Balls (€8.03, kinky.ie) – these balls contain smaller internal balls which, when inserted vaginally, roll around causing the vaginal muscles to tense and contract making them stronger. For those looking for an extra kick there’s the Real Skin Ben Wa Vibrating Balls (€28.70, kinky.ie), are covered with a silky-smooth material and vibrate for an intense vaginal stimulation.
When using kegel balls, apply a generous amount of lubricant like Durex Play Real Feel (€11.47, kinky.ie) to the outside of the balls and the entrance of your vagina. This will ensure an easy insertion and will also exercise your pelvic floor muscles as your vagina learns to hold them in place.
Insert the balls, ensuring the string or removal loop remains outside the body. Then tighten your pelvic floor muscles and hold for as long as you can. As your muscles strengthen this will become easier and you’ll be able to keep contracted for longer.
You can keep your kegel balls in for as long as you want. However, you should never urinate with them in, which can result in a nasty infection. When it comes to taking them out, gently pull on the string and they should slide out. If you do experience some trouble getting them back out, don’t panic. They can’t get lost in there so relax, add some more lube to the opening of the vagina, move around/squat, and try again. They will come out.