Forget ‘going to the gym’, or ‘giving up chocolate’. How about a new year’s resolution that’s actually fun?
The start of a new year gives many of us a chance to take stock, re-evaluate and do some reflection on what happened in the previous year, and what we’d love to work on, try out or do just a little differently. Here are some kinky resolutions for the new year that don’t require a total sex life shake-up, but can still have a positive impact all the same…
1. Take Stock of Your Sex Life
We all have a sexual identity, but if we were asked to describe exactly what defines us sexually few of us would be able to do so. This is a crucial step towards knowing exactly what you want and giving you the ability and confidence to pursue it. Why not start the new year with writing a list of things you’ve experienced or fantasied about or desired but never asked for? This enables you to reflect on the things you’ve enjoyed or think you might enjoy and familiarise yourself with your sexuality.
2. Get More Vocal
Do you know what turns your partner on? Really? Just because they groan when you nibble their neck doesn’t mean it’s their favourite thing in the world. How will either of you ever know how to keep each other happy and fulfilled if you don’t really know what makes them tick?
Making a commitment to share our sexual likes and dislikes, as well as to suggest new sexual moves, is a great way to step up our sexual assertiveness. So, start by telling your partner about one thing that turns you on. It could be a position you’d like to try, a toy you’d like to use or a fantasy you’d like to enact. Then encourage them to do the same. Sex is a conversation, and the better you are at communicating, the more satisfying your sex life will be.
3. Refrain from Seeing Sex as an Event
Resolving to bring a whole new perspective to sex can have a serious effect on the quality of your relationship. Recognising that building sexual intimacy is intensified though a range of different activities is important. These can include date nights, PDA, shopping for sex toys together or even taking to the time to have an intimate conversation. Although these are not direct acts of sex, they’ll create intimacy and reinforce sexual exclusivity.
4. Be More Affectionate
While we often think about our relationships in terms of sex, hugging, kissing and general affection is just as important – if not more – than making love. Being affectionate heightens intimacy and can reinforce feelings of security and trust in the relationship. If you are one of those people who wishes their partner was more affectionate, communicate without blame and ask them if they could be more mindful.
5. Introduce Some (New) Toys into The Bedroom
Treat yourself and your partner to a kinky item for your bedroom this year – sex swing, vibrator, butt plug – there’s plenty to choose from! these additions will really make the experience that much more memorable. If you need an excuse, why not get your partner something extra special for Valentine’s Day?
6. Try At Least One New Position
We all love missionary and girl on top, but there are plenty more positions out there to try. From variations on the classics to the kinkier positions that may require some flexibility and toys; there are plenty of sexy positions waiting to be tried. It’s time to start exploring!
7. Experiment with Locations
Speaking of getting adventurous; why do most of us stick to the same old locations when it comes to sex? Sure, having sex on a bed is comfy and convenient, but 2019 is all about pushing the boundaries. Your home is full of potential sexy locations; the kitchen, dining room table, office chair, shower, staircase…and these are just the tip of the iceberg. Think of all the places you can try outside of the house. New locations can be exciting, wild and daring – embrace it and have a good time!