When it comes to spanking, many of us approach it with mixed feelings. We want to try it; it’s the ultimate kinky foreplay and is a sure way to spice things up in the bedroom. However, some struggle with the idea of ‘hitting’ their other half and potentially causing them pain. Spanking can seem a little daunting at first, but if you use the right technique, it can also make your sex life far more exciting. On a physical level, spanking increases the blood flow to the nearby genitals and causes a spike in adrenaline. The result? Increased sexual arousal and lots of fun!
So, what are you waiting for?!
Approaching the subject
Most struggle making the suggestion of spanking to their partner, this is partly due to women being nervous of getting hurt and men being nervous at the thought of hitting a woman. Spanking can be misinterpreted as aggressive and painful, but in reality it’s the complete opposite. It’s fun, playful and downright sexy. Keep this in mind when approaching the subject, and keep it light-hearted.
Your partner may get turned on just by the suggestion of spanking, but others will need a little more convincing. Communication is key; take the time to talk through any worries she may have and answer her questions. Watching a porno containing spanking can often help reassure your partner – watching a few different types could also help you both discover what you do and do not like.
The main thing is that you remain patient and don’t try pressuring her to try something she’s not comfortable with.
Safe word
When trying any kind of BDSM play for the first time, it is important to pick a safe word. A word that both of you agree on, and a word that won’t accidentally slip out during the fun. It’s worth agreeing too that once this safe word has been said, the session is over.
Likewise, a few key words can be established to signal that you need to slow down or spank softer – of course, you can simply say “slow down” but some get a little caught up and don’t realise what their partner is really asking until they go too far. Using a word like “Peanuts” is more likely to bring you back into the moment.
Foreplay first
You may have been wanting to try this for a while, but after waiting this long surely you can wait a little longer. Don’t rush in – spend some time on foreplay before you get started. If you’re partner’s not aroused, a firm smack on the bottom is likely to hurt more than anything else. The more aroused one gets, the more receptive they become to erotic pain. You could always try role-playing to get you both in the mood…
Role playing
Spanking games lend themselves perfectly to sexy role-play. Dressing up and pretending to be someone else can help get you and your partner in the mood and can also give you the courage to explore your fantasies and bring them to life. Furthermore, some find it easier introducing spanking during role-play as it becomes part of the act instead. Headmaster and schoolgirl lends itself to spanking, as does boss and saucy secretary.
Various spanking objects and toys
For those trying spanking for the first time, we recommend using your hands. This allows you the opportunity to control your strength and remain aware of how hard you are spanking. Play with various techniques, pressures and rhythms to see what your partner does and doesn’t enjoy. From there you can move on to a variety of props, whips and paddles that will work for you both. Only move on to these however, when you and your partner are ready.
Don’t even think of using a bullwhip, or whip of any kind, unless you know what you’re doing; it can easily injure and kill.
The best positions for spanking
When it comes to spanking; anything goes! While it’s best to start with gentle slaps on the bottom, there are a variety of spanking positions to try. For those combining role-play and spanking, use props to your advantage. Try over the knee, stooped over a chair or across a desk/table. For those looking for something a little kinkier, get your partner on all four, or try with their hands tied.
Encourage her to give you instructions, and tell you exactly what she wants you to do. In the same way, telling your partner what your planning on doing next will not only reduce the risk of taking her by surprise (in a bad way), but the anticipation of the pleasures to come are sure to drive her wild.
Spanking is all about pleasure and excitement. Keep it light-hearted and playful, and you’re guaranteed to have fun!!