Our necks are vulnerable, delicate places. And so collars – a strip of fabric or material placed around the neck – are a visual symbol of submission and control, and are often worn in the bedroom by submissive partners to indicate their position. Collars can also be practical, they typically feature rings for attaching either leads, or other restraints. When fastened to other furniture/equipment, it keeps subs in place for whatever pleasing or teasing is thrown their way.
Safety First
First things first, discuss and pick a safeword. Double check that you are both aware of the word and that when it is said the session is stopped completely.
It is vital that the collar fits comfortably and safely. Getting your collar to fit perfectly depends on two factors: measuring and fastening. Before you buy a collar, use a tape measure to figure out the circumference of your neck around the widest part (usually around an inch above your collar bone). Take a note of this measurement and compare it to the sizes on the product page. Collars are made from a huge variety of materials. You’ll need to know what you have in mind for your collar in order to choose suitable material. Leather is a fan-favourite, but it can be hard to clean from lots of sweating, and it doesn’t work well for vegans. Neoprene, f aux fur, faux leather, suede, and felt are all other popular material options as well.
When starting out, have the Dom fasten the collar. It must be tightened slowly, making sure the sub’s breathing and swallowing is not at all hindered. If this is not possible, the collar is too tight. Always make sure there is a two-finger gap between the neck and collar for maximum comfort and safety. If you experience any discomfort, remove or loosen the collar immediately. If it’s chafing, apply some moisturiser or lube.
Types of Collars
There is a vast range of collars out there to suit every need and desire.
1. Wolf Collars were originally used to protect wolves from dogs. They are usually made of leather and are adorned all the way around with sharp spikes. We recommend: Leather O-Ring Studded Collar (€32.15, kinky.ie).
2. Slave Collars are versatile and easy to use. They are usually made from rubber or leather and feature a buckle or Velcro fastening. The distinctive feature of ‘slave’ collars is the attached O-ring or D-ring to the front, like that on the Plain Leather Collar (€32.15, kinky.ie). This allows you to attach cuffs, leashes, and so on to your sub to keep them under your control.
3. Keep your sub on a tight leash with a Collar and Lead. Perfect for those who enjoy a little pet play! We recommend: Renegade Bondage Collar (€22.96, kinky.ie).
4. A Collar with Cuffs takes restraining to the next level, preventing your sub’s arms from a full range of motion. We recommend: Fetish Fantasy Series Collar with Cuffs and Leash (€45.93, kinky.ie).
5. What better way to clamp down on some naughty behaviour than with a Collar with Clamps? The perfect way to experiment with the more fetish related side of collar wearing.
There are a few things to consider to reduce your choices.
1. Know Your Bondage Points. If you want to use your collar as a bondage point, think about what your collar will provide. A single O-ring or D-ring can work great if all you want to do is attach a leash to the collar. If you’d like to use chains to run between the collar and other points on the body (such as cuffs), multiple bondage points might offer advantages.
2. Think About Different Fasteners. When thinking about fasteners, consider what will be comfortable for you, both physically and psychologically. The most standard fastener looks similar to a belt buckle that allows the metal to slip through one of the open holes to fasten it. Other locking mechanisms include Velcro or bows. It’s all a matter of preference!
3. Contemplate Cleaning. Leather can be a difficult material to thoroughly sterilize for multiple partners. So, if you’re getting bodily fluids on collars, you may want to consider a different material. You’ll want to clean under all of the O-rings and smaller surfaces as well. If you don’t want to spend a lot of time cleaning, make sure you consider a basic collar design.
4. Have You Considered a Kit? If you’re still new to kink, you might want to consider an entire kit to go with your collar purchase. Be aware that many all-in-one kits may be of lower quality than if you purchase the collar by itself, but if you’re new to kink and need to add these items to your toy box anyway, it can be a good value.