Daddy Dom in its core is a kinky age-play or role-play and is a close cousin to BDSM. Before we go any further, let’s just make one thing clear. Daddy Dom is not because you want to have sex with your father. It is a dominant relationship, but not in the traditional sense that we know it as.
Dominance and Submission is an alternative relationship in which dom controls the actions, emotions, and will of the sub. The relationship consists of two people who are mutually consenting adults who agree on a direction for their relationship.
Doms are in control; giving strict orders to follow and dishing out punishments if their expectations aren’t met. In the case of Daddy Dom; the ‘Daddy’ will be in control of each scene. The ‘little girl’ takes the role of the child-like, sweet girl and regresses in age. The age can vary from a baby in nappies to a young teenage girl. She gives the control to ‘Daddy’ and trusts he will do what’s best for her.
This form of play has a lot of different shades; from the most hardcore to the most vanilla – it can be tailored to what you and your partner want.
Communication
When it comes to any form of BDSM, safety and communication are paramount. Every relationship is different; every person is different. What happens if your partner likes the idea of having hot wax poured all over you, but you’re horrified at the idea of hurting him? There are plenty of variations and kinks, so take the time to discuss what turns you on and those kinky fantasies that you’ve been wanting to try. Create an environment of patience, trust, and willingness and let the process work itself.
When discussing your dos, remember to list your don’ts. If you’re scared or turned off by some of his suggestions, just say no and explain why. Be gentle with each other, don’t judge, and focus on the fantasies that work for you both.
Domination and Boundaries
When you assume a position of power over your partner, it’s important to remember that their boundaries need to be carefully observed. When first experimenting with domination and submission, your likely to take things slowly and progress gradually, but this isn’t to say that those boundaries won’t be reached early on in your relationship. For this reason, couples need to be sensitive to each other’s needs and be aware of what they are happy to explore together.
Negotiations and safewords are imperative as they define the outer parameters and ensure that both you and your partner get the most from the scene. The art of being a good dom is learning to recognise where the edges are and trail just within them.
Your safeword can be anything you choose, but as the dominant it’s your job to set it. Make sure you choose a word that you will both remember and above all, stop your session completely when the word is used.
Control
Telling your partner what to do, and/or physically controlling their body is much harder than it looks. It takes practice, which is why you should start with short and simple scenes, easing your way into different forms of dominance. The easiest way to enter the Daddy Dom play is by designing specific scenes or wearing particular clothing that clearly indicates the start and the end of the play e.g. ‘little girl’ is given a dummy, teddy-bear or cute pyjamas to wear.
To avoid stage fright, you can try vocalising your desires with soft vocal commands such as; I want you to…, We’re going too…, Take off your…, and so on. This gives you the opportunity to vocalise your desires, alleviate and nervousness, and start off with something simple and non-threatening. This works especially well in the following Daddy Dom scenes;
- Being bathed before bed
- Being ordered to go to sleep early and being read a bed-time story
- Getting dressed up for a party/outing
- Being potty-trained
Daddy Dom can also include disciplinary actions like punishments and chores. Common punishments could be;
- Standing in the corner
- Being ordered to write the same line 50 times e.g. I will obey my Daddy
- Holding soapy water in her mouth for swearing
- Being spanked or flogged
Don’t be afraid to lean heavily on your toys to help establish control.
Being Comfortable
As with any sexual experience – don’t do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. If you have something in mind, talk it out and work your way slowly up to it. There’s no point dressing up, using toys and trying daring positions if you’re nervous and massively out of your comfort zone. It’ll show.
Remember, this is about you having a good time and exploring yourself sexually. So, do what you want and/or need to do to ensure that it’s an amazing experience for you. Keep your limits in mind and communicate with your partner, so that both of you can get the most from this experience.